labor just a little longer, lover
let light in and don't you struggle
leave room for laughter- listen, brother
let us illuminate this life, and we'll lift one another
only one, often overrun, on the wire
but not every opportunity's expired
of the open wind, you stand admired
please, shed your obligations here a while
sleep in long sleeves
in sentimental silver trees
we sigh, starry-eyed, in secrecy
still, you shouldn't stake your soul on me
take your time, put up a good fight
as we tremble in this pale twilight
take on uncertainty tonight
traverse, beloved, our dizzy height
but transformation has a right
so tell me one last t
I am green
I am the grass beneath your feet
I am the ground
Grace is falling all around
Its the leaves
The trees are casting down
Their precious gifts upon the breeze
Flee, flee! The skys no longer bright
But we will wait within the ground
In this seasons dead of night
There well be found
Until next seasons light
The whole world sleeping sound
I am green
I am the grass beneath your feet
I will support you as you step between
The sky and I; at the horizon we meet
And bending down, he leans
To reach me; his touch is sweet
I am green
I am the grass beneath your feet
I will cradle you as you slee
Remember me as a time of day. by faeriecaptive, literature
Literature
Remember me as a time of day.
Remember me as a time of day.
8am
You called me most mornings to make sure I got up for my 9:00 class. Sometimes it was twice because Id hang up on you in my half-sleep. You were patient anyway; you were always thinking of what I needed. My favorite thing was when you didnt even say hello, you just started singing to me, and I laid in bed with the phone a foot away from my ear because you were so loud, and woke up slowly, and smiled. I could always start the day smiling with you. My least favorite thing
Its 5am in the bottom bunk of my dorm-room world. Sheets crinkle and my roommates breathing is steady and slow. The refrigerator clicks on; its humming cools the bottled water and Chinese leftovers within. A security guards keys jingle on the sidewalk beneath the window. Static announces an incoming message, which is surprisingly loud, considering Im three floors up. Three fourteen to base. M-A-P is secure. He jingles and clunks his way out of the inner quad.
a group of giggly girls bustle past my room in the hallway - who has any idea why theyre awake right now : a computerized jazz riff - my roommate
you love to spin around
with your hands in the air
your palms to the sky
like you were free
you love to turn it
up and sing along, to
all those songs
about love and that
stuff you love to dream of
and you just want to stare
at the sky and paint your
color wonderful, where
beauty is free; you love to
complete him
you wear a flowing skirt and
sway back and
forth to the rhythm and pretend
that the world is an adventure, a
playground to meet the joy
in their faces
and draw it all
over the walls
it says 'dream high'
inspiring everyone passing by
you love to wear flowers
in your hair and dance in
the sun, and use words
this morning was a dream
refracted light in color-fire
vibrant possibility, it seemed
a wandering heart
set ablaze like kerosene
traverse sunlight and shadow
hover inbetween
a clouded head, shaken from a dream
but then reality was finally clean
with straight-cut edges
perfect corners, triune Elohim
reaching sprawling patterns turned dizzy
like a fall
falling through the autumn
like I never cared at all
but I used to swear
it was there, in you somewhere
I was in your heart somewhere
patches of rage, red aware
of all I lost, all I never dared
a boldness cut through to where
I vanished in your stare
I lost you streaming th
Spinning circles
Round and round
In sweet, a serenity
A simple song
He sang along
By lines and paths
Refracted light
Through galaxies and imperfections
Past shame and blindness, fears
Past a mass of mistakes
Lists of Can't or Won't or Don't
Into nightmares and a
Fragile darkened mind
He reached, to find
A simple dance
A heart renewed
A spreading smile
A lilting laugh
Another turn
A life, to learn
Her life, there in His heart
Their dance, about to start
She stops and bows
She feels a prayer
She is crying out
To hear, to feel, to care
She wants His
labor just a little longer, lover
let light in and don't you struggle
leave room for laughter- listen, brother
let us illuminate this life, and we'll lift one another
only one, often overrun, on the wire
but not every opportunity's expired
of the open wind, you stand admired
please, shed your obligations here a while
sleep in long sleeves
in sentimental silver trees
we sigh, starry-eyed, in secrecy
still, you shouldn't stake your soul on me
take your time, put up a good fight
as we tremble in this pale twilight
take on uncertainty tonight
traverse, beloved, our dizzy height
but transformation has a right
so tell me one last t
Your pale eyes
Are so lost and sad
I don\'t understand.
I live in shadows.
My mind stumbles over memories
They creep in my thoughts
They lurk in those shadows.
I long for
My pain to be cradled
Never let it go.
I love my shadows
They will never leave me.
I love my scissors
They are always there
to comfort me.
Why?
Why are your eyes so pale?
I know your sadness.
I recognize your tears.
They are mine-
I\'ve cried them before.
Why?
Why do you cry?
I know why.
And I can\'t stand it.
I\'ll steal my tears back from you
And cry them again
You will never have to keep them
-I will keep them for you.
It\'s scary sharing te
to sit in silence
alone
in this void I\'m trapped in
friends drift in and out
but they are always leaving
how I wish I could fly and float like them,
far away to more passionate places
sadness wraps me like a cocoon,
misery thick as a shroud
it rocks me
even the breath in my lungs is snatched from me,
suffocated.
tears do not last forever
and when they are gone,
there is nothing.
emptiness swirls in my mind
meaningless clouds appear and then disappear
but I take no notice.
high on nothingness
the world is long gone.
soon I will be gone too.
Stupid young one,
she looks inside herself for hope.
She built her rock in the pit of her \"stomach full of doubt\",
listened to her favorite music,
And fantasized about days to come.
Smile for the camera, Ugly, and pretend you\'ve got options. Well there\'s nothing out there for your pathetic stare. Obsessions filled your spare time, wasting your potential, your breath, your waking-hours…. trying to escape from your own mind.
You DESERVED it - what you ended up doing to yourself. You swallowed yourself whole and dissolved in that acid you\'d grown to worship. Pretend you adore yourself, and then allow yourself to be saturated in th
Bitter Self-Reflection by faeriecaptive, literature
Literature
Bitter Self-Reflection
This hollow shell
This lifeless filth
These barren walls
Echo the emptiness
In my brain.
Please
Please let it rain
Let it rain.
Pour some emotion in my soul,
Please God
Fill this wasted heart.
I am wretched,
Selfish to the core.
Damp and dim,
The bitter taste of sin.
Damn you!-
Sarcastic heart-
Rejected everything with meaning,
Traded for this filthy hole
I live in.
Choke down the pill
It\'s worth the fall
Misery is better
Than feeling nothing at all.
Joyless, ragged sighs,
A heap of worthless lies.
Has it really
Come to
This?
Mysteries
In the back of the mind,
Visions
Behind the eye -
They are
Shapeless, without form
Or tangibility.
They are
Beyond comprehension,
Non-existent
In the world of hard edges
And stark contrasts.
Blink
In slow motion.
I am drawn in
Through your eyes
To view
What lies within.
I watch -
So close I could almost touch you,
And still you feel so far away.
I watch -
And see the words form upon your lips
As they are created in your mind.
How precious,
Adored.
So many words
I long to speak,
To whisper softly
In your ear,
They well up inside me
Like tears from
Red and weary eyes.
Here they lie
Waiting,
Waitin
I'm so filled with guilt lately… I wish I could puke out all the tightness in my stomach. I haven't felt joy in so long. I have this incessant feeling that I'm going all wrong. I've king of lost faith recently-- I still believe what I believe, but it brings me no comfort… No smile on my face displays the *grace of God* or the happiness found in his wisdom. I don't think I ever have felt God's joy…
I have this intense hatred for my former self, and a dulled but persistent hatred for my current self. I haven't cried in a few weeks. I keep feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack, though…. several almost-panic-attacks… I feel separa
Little boys,
Little boys with eyes of sunshine
New as warm spring rain
Smiles as bright as a song
Little boys\' laughter
Can color the earth
Faces as innocent
As the days of their birth.
Little boys
Playing pretend
Little boys wearing their
Big man clothes,
Big man voices
And big man attitudes
A little boy\'s eyes
Can steal your soul-
A little girl\'s perfect first love,
Playing his big man-hero role
Searching for love-
A little boy\'s quest.
Looking for peace,
Safety and rest
Little boys playing pretend.
Little boys grow into their big-man clothes
too soon.
Search beneath the eyes of light,
The faces full of
c a u g h t
in a deep night
will anything
ever work out right?
i'm sinking
in your name
it lingers on my eyelids and
in my dreams without shame
t a s t e ---
i breathe it in
and shuddering,
my mind grows dim.
cascades of darkness
flood my wearied eyes
yesterdays are welling up
despite my weakened tries.
will tomorrow ever break
through this past-tense cloud of mine?
living in the sorrows
that should've been left behind.
frustrations tear my scalp
my face is wearing thin --
what an ugly shell of misery
this is that i'm living in.
multicolored dreamworlds
drift lazy past my sparkled view --
a hope for an awaited fut
There's something about winter that corkscrews a swirling hole through the pit of your stomach, only to be replaced by the slushy, gray mess that is melting snow. Winter is the muffling pillow of a basement homicide; the pure, innocent snow covering up all the things dying beneath it. Winter is more about skeletal trees and shivering children than it is about Christ's love, or three kings who have surplus gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
Winter is mostly about feeling like maybe this time.. maybe this time.
But it never is.
There's just something about winter that makes you feel like you're stepping on everyone's dreams, when you're really
We pow-wowed on her basement carpet,
Colorful, printed pajama pants on every point of
Our friendship-circle. The movie had been over
For quite awhile, the TV still glowing a blank,
Blue screen. Bowls of buttered popcorn lay abandoned
In the couch cushions. She curled in our center: her
Friends, her classmates, her peers. Our concern
Leapt across the circle every which way, weaving a
Web of whispers around her. She shivered, but it
Wasn't from the chill in the air. We had left our
Girl-talk, our weekly gossip, the new boy at school,
I student taught this past semester, first grades 7-12 for choir, band, and general music [grade 8]. Then I taught grades K-6 general music. I had more fun with elementary. I think I'll be looking for a job in Baltimore for the fall... until then I'll have another semester of classes at GCC, graduate in May, and live at home for the summer while I work at a day camp.
I searched my laptop for any work I may have done that I could post on dA, but I couldn't find anything. I guess I've just been directing my efforts toward other activities lately. I hope to produce some artwork/ writing sometime soon though.
I am still running
Build me a home